Hi! I'm Alexandra. You can call me Alex for short, if you like. I'm a college-educated, free-spirited, American woman who lives in a traditional Christian marriage. What that means is that I've agreed to let my husband be head of our home, and I submit to him. Radical concept, huh?
Wait! It gets worse!
You see, I know myself pretty well. And while "submitting" sounds easy enough in theory, I knew that there would be times when I wouldn't want to submit. Because I have a very strong will and a sometimes explosive temper, I knew that there would be times I would absolutely refuse to submit.
So, it gets even worse...
I agreed that my husband, as head of our relationship would have the authority to impose consequences if I got stubborn and wouldn't listen to reason, or if I blew up in anger. Ramon and I talked about what those consequences might include. Maybe a time out to think about my actions and attitude. Maybe writing an essay about the problem, like, "Why I shouldn't yell at the kids" or "Why slamming the door in my husband's face isn't good." But, we came back to this question: What if I got stubborn and refused the consequences? What if I got angry and would just storm off in a huff? Wouldn't that create more strain on our marriage?
So, it got worse.
I did a lot of research online and found out about Traditional Christian Marriage, Domestic Discipline, wife spanking, Taken in Hand, This Thing We Do, Domestic Harmony, Head of Home, and etc., and something resonated within me. That could work, I thought. So, I brought the concept to my husband and he agreed to spank me if I got too far out of line.
And it got better!
It actually worked! Sure, I felt really silly the first time he spanked me (which didn't amount to much more than a series of love taps), but I also loved him more for trying. And then he got better at it and learned to land a few real zingers that got my attention.
And it got even better!
Eventually, my husband learned more about this whole spanking thing, and he got a lot better at it. I loved how he tried to make it work for us. My love and respect for him grew by leaps and bounds, and my attitude improved. I even learned to control my temper (for the most part -- I'm not exactly perfect!).
And it continues to get better!
We've been at this for about seven years now, and we're still learning and growing. This past year has been the best year of our marriage. We've never been happier. We thank God for leading us to this new relationship dynamic that works for us. It's been a tangible expression of love that flows both ways.
Through this blog, I hope to interact with others who are also on this journey of discovery. My free spirit doesn't like labels all that much, and none can totally encapsulate the nature of our relationship. I've settled on calling it a Traditional Christian Marriage, even though I know that many Christians live in fairly traditional marriages without the spanking part. But then, we're not just about domestic discipline either. Our marriage is so much more than that. Maybe someday, I'll find the perfect label for something that seems to defy labeling, but for now, I'll just call it TCM.
